Jesus loves a good kit kat every now and again
thers not even any kit kats in that vending machine
if he can turn water into wine im sure snickers into kit kats is just as easy
i just really want a story about a supervillain family where the supervillain dad is so proud of both of his daughters even though one grows up to be a superhero and he encourages them both to do what they want to do and when he runs into his superhero daughter while he’s on a crime spree he’s all like “oh hun you did such a good job foiling my evil plans today!! are you gonna come visit me in solitary? tell your mother not to forget to buy milk!”
It makes me happy knowing that someone had to animate that.
Kitten rejected by mother and raised by golden retriever
when there’s a fire, don’t forget to stop, drop and pop it, lock it, polka dot it, country-fy it and hip-hop it
1 time in my english class there was a fly going around the room and it was annoying everyone and it came over to my desk and i caught it with my hand and like 15 ppl started clapping but i couldn’t get up to throw it in the trash because i had a boner
instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant
Are you a U.S. senator?
are you staring at me because you’re checking me out or are you staring at me because i’m ugly
TODAY IN BIOLOGY CLASS WE LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU MOW THE GRASS THE BLADES RELEASE A CHEMICAL THAT MAKES THAT GLORIOUS SMELL BUT THE REASON WHY THEY RELEASE THE CHEMICAL IS TO WARN OTHER GRASS BLADES OF DANGER SO WHEN WE SMELL THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS SMELL IT’S NOT JUST A GOOD SMELL IT’S THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD AND SCREAMS FOR HELP OF THOUSANDS OF GRASS BLADES
ok they going to warn the grass and then what ? explain how the other grass will run away from the lawmower ?